Volume 1, Issue 4
Growth, Love, and Reflections of the Moment
Waste Is A Part of Life
I made a spaghetti squash casserole the other day for dinner. Jake and I agreed it was delicious. We thought we’d have the leftovers for lunch the next day. But then the next day, going out to eat sounded so much better than leftovers...and then the next day we had salads...and then the next day we went out again... until I found myself face to face with half a casserole, knowing I either needed to eat it that very instant or throw it out.
A week ago, I booked an outdoor yoga class for myself that, at the time, I was really looking forward to. The day of the class I ended up deep cleaning the apartment and swapping out our summer clothes for our fall clothes, greatly underestimating the amount of labor such a chore requires. By the time the class rolled around all I wanted to do was flop on the bed. I begrudgingly pulled on my yoga pants and prepared to walk the fifteen blocks to class.
“Sarah, you cannot go to this,” Jake said, always the voice of reason.
“But it’s a ten dollar fee if I cancel!” I replied. “It’s like I’m paying ten dollars not to go to a yoga class!”
Jake smartly pointed out that it was just ten dollars. I decided to stay home, and as soon as I took off my yoga pants I knew I was incredibly happy to be doing so.
It is with great honesty that I say that situations like these make me feel genuinely guilty. It is also with honesty that I say that I work overtime to make sure they don’t happen. I maintain an ongoing record of the things in our fridge that need to get eaten — open cans of coconut milk and half-eaten jars of pesto. I have put clothes-buying bans on myself before to ensure I don’t keep piling up my closet with things I never wear (this year I am not allowed to buy sweaters). But things slip through the cracks anyway. And I am wondering if it is worth it to take on the personal stress of each instance of waste, small micro-stressors that tack on to the unavoidable, much more real stressors that occupy our lives. This year I have started asking myself the following question:
Why do I think life is perfectly calibrated in such a way that nothing should ever get wasted?
Why do I think it should work out that I will use the exact amount of parsley they put in the package? Why do I think that every piece of clothing I buy I must end up liking enough to wear all the time? Why do I think that I will always be able to perfectly predict how much I will like to go to a yoga class on a random day in the future?
Waste is a part of life. If you are here, you are taking up space. Consuming resources. Destroying and absorbing other energies to support your energy. And the math does not work out perfectly so that you optimize your every instance of doing so.
It makes me think of the trope of the parents telling their kid he “better finish his dinner, because there are children who are starving.” Obviously anyone who says this to their kids is a psychopath. But that aside, it makes no logical sense. Some middle class family somewhere making sure they eat all their pizza crust has absolutely no effect on families in poverty that do not have their basic needs supported. Improving the actual systems that are failing us is a more critical component to change than optimizing the individual users who exist in those systems.
If you are alive then you are inevitably going to waste things, just like you are inevitably going to cause pain and suffering to other people. We do not lead perfect lives no matter how hard we try. We do not enter and then exit off the earth without a whisper or a sound. That was never the deal, and life has created and invested in us anyway. Isn’t that sort of a beautiful thing? That you were put here to take up space?
There is a forgiveness meditation I do that says, “We make mistakes, other people make mistakes. We do things to others, and others do things to us...we add to the suffering with judgement, anger, and blame.”
*Deep breath* I forgive myself for throwing out that casserole...
Simple Pleasures
Kinrgy Expanded Fitness
I’ve been wanting to try Julianne Hough’s original workout method Kinrgy for a while, especially because in quarantine, my usual workout routines got old fast (Can anyone relate?). Kinrgy is a dance-based workout inspired by (and I did not know this before I began) the four elements. Julianne and company lead you through earth, water, fire, and air-inspired movements with a huge emphasis the whole time on expression, not perfection, encouraging you to move in a way that feels good and not to judge what you look like, often asking you to improvise. I am totally down for this philosophy...in theory. The first time I did a Kinrgy workout, I was extremely uncomfortable! Even though I was alone. Even though I am a person who loves to dance. So many workouts of the current day are about discipline, and perfect form, and pushing yourself, and I think a lot of us are actually pretty comfortable inside those boxes. I was surprised at how extremely out of practice I was in the Kinrgy style, where you were supposed to move spontaneously, tap into your body, and “go crazy.”
But like I said, I want to be down for this philosophy, so I did Kinrgy a second time. Already, the difference in my comfort level was huge. I was much more able to let go of my self-consciousness and just enjoy the feeling of being in a body moving. I wouldn’t say I was able to do it 100% — will I ever be able to do this 100%? — but the difference in myself between only the first and second video astounded me. I would love for someone else to try this a few times and let me know if they have the same experience!
I made a free account on FitOn to access a collection of Kinrgy starter videos, which run from 9 to 18 minutes long. I’ve been doing them either as a warm-up before a yoga video, or on their own if I want just a quick workout that day. I would say they are more cardio and just generally warming up your body than anything else. Full-length workouts are available to stream daily on the Kinrgy website.
Three Things I'm Grateful For
As written in my grateful journal on 10.9.20
The show The Good Place. It’s so nice to have a show that will calm me down, something light yet smart.
Going to Buenos Aires for dinner, where Jake and I had our first date. Their prosciutto and melon appetizer is amazing and the waitstaff is always so warm.
Going for a long walk through NYC with Jake.
Some Stray Thoughts
Isn’t it nice that we can all buy those mini pumpkins for our homes now?
My sister and I recently got to talking about our uncle’s funeral we went to several years ago. It is so interesting and worthwhile to ask someone else for their account of a memory you share. She told me things our relatives said to her there that I had no idea about.
I recently realized how used to the new way of life I’ve become, to wearing masks and never seeing your friends and the like. Sometimes it is surprising and nice to reassure myself that it won’t always be this way. I think I’ve put my head down and dealt with it rather than reflect too much on what we’re missing out on.
Jake’s friend just made the switch from iPhone to Samsung and said it is such a better phone that we are all just in a cult with our Apple products. Is this true? Would I ever not have an iPhone? I can’t picture it.
Jake's Journal
Written by Jake himself
What’s up everybody? Jake here, coming to you for the first time ever in newsletter form! I know many of you were wondering how many issues Sarah could mention me in before I actually got to speak for myself and apparently the answer to that question is four. Contrary to what you may have read here in the past, let me set the record straight: I am not a buffoon!
With that out of the way let me be honest with you all: I’m here with a bit of an agenda. See, I’m hoping to employ a bit of my charm, wit, and unseen good looks in persuading Sarah’s lovely readers to engage in her comment box at the bottom of the page.
Sarah often writes about food in these little letters and I cannot overstate how much I’ve benefitted as a secondhand consumer of her kitchen adventures. Even as I type this, I feel beads of sweat percolating on my forehead as the spicy and delicious memory of her buffalo chicken pizza wafts through my brain — I can almost taste it.
With food on the mind, I’d like to ask you all a specific question about food. I’m wondering this: what is one of your favorite foods that you can only get in a specific location? Allow me to elaborate. Back in home in suburban Ohio we have a pizza place called Bexley Pizza Plus.
I am telling you that this is the best pizza I have ever had and it’s not even close. I swear by this pizza. I’d die for this pizza. If a single one of you jabronies comes in here and starts telling me about your Chicago — or worse — New York pizza, you can see yourselves out the virtual door. In the Philadelphia area, I need my classic Wawa italian hoagies and do not even get me started on Talula’s Mexican food in Santa Monica.
Another acceptable response would be a homemade meal! My mother has quite the reputation for cooking back home and it was an honor and a privilege for any townie to be invited back to a Steinberg family dinner. Her chicken and rice concoction has received several Michelin stars.
So please, leave a comment below on your favorite dish exclusive to certain geography and try to sell me on it. I’ll be sure to get in there and let you know how tasty it sounds.
Until again,
Jake