Volume 1, Issue 11
January 20, 2022
Still life by Carly Tice
Hanukkah Thoughts
Call me an accidental Christmas romantic. Not Christian, but a lover of big red bows and green, wreath-y things (and twinkly lights, duh). I even asked Jake the other day if he’d ever have a Christmas wedding. Still working on getting him to come around to that one (but I mean picture how special and cozy and wintry). It’s easy to forget it’s all about Jesus.
Enter my foray into a Jesus-less holiday this year: Hanukkah! And let me tell you, I’m a big fan.
In a spontaneous flash of socialness that isn’t really like either of us, Jake and I did an activity for every. Single. Day. In elaborate and meme-filled emails, Jake invited “only the people I really love” to events like “Tournament of Champions” and “Forget It Jake, It’s Chinatown” (this was really more of Jake’s baby). Eight days of our calendar filled up.
We opened the holiday with a Sunday morning bagel trip dubbed “The Mourning of Bagels.” Jake and I scarved and mittened up and rode the L a stop over to Black Seed. He got the everything with scallion cream cheese. I got the gluten free sesame with egg, cheese, and avocado. We saw our friend Wil walk in and get in line, ready to defy his lactose intolerance with some cream cheese for the occasion.
Fully bundled at an open table outside, we breakfasted. A man asked us for money. At the table nearby, an East Village gay kid made small talk with his not-from-New-York-City parents.
Jake prompted us: what were we laying to rest this morning? That we didn’t want to drag with us into the new year? Something not that the world was doing unto us, but that we were doing unto ourselves. Not making our own luck, giving our fears too much juice, and saying yes when we wanted to say no were mentioned. We ceremoniously threw our dead habits in a paper bagel bag, tossing it into the trash when we left, where, we hope, they’ll stay dead.
Later that night, we stayed in with more friends and $150 worth of Chinese food. That time, we each shared a “short-term dream” for the next year and blew out a candle (cue my internal crisis over realizing I don’t really know what my short-term dreams are. I’ve got a job, an apartment, a boyfriend. What am I supposed to go after next? Having finished my MFA, I’m ill-inclined to list a lofty creative goal. I said I’d like a puppy).
And so the week continued with taco nights and Jewish-Japanese fusion and a late-night movie theater trip, all with different faces or maybe just Jake and I. We were heading out into the cold when we’d usually stay warm and cozy at home; catching up with friends we might not otherwise see for weeks; and keeping a holiday on our hearts and minds that would otherwise just be days on a calendar. You’ll note we didn’t really do anything traditional; the closest I got was making gluten-free matzo ball soup.
And it was the best.
What I learned from Hanukkah is that sacredness is important. Every single night felt special. We treated them all, and each other, with reverence. I saw some advice for couples recently about the importance of creating rituals. I’d never celebrated Hanukkah before, and Jake had only ever casually recognized it with his family; when the holiday was over, we realized we’d be celebrating it again next year with the special traditions we had created this year. Maybe we’ll be celebrating it forever. Maybe Chinese night will be the thing that sticks around. Maybe marking every day off a calendar (which we did).
The other, perhaps less poignant, thing I realized is that my social capacity far exceeds what I once thought! I was working all day and hostessing all night and for some reason this was fine. It was the truth in action that once you put your shoes on and do the thing, it always ends up being worth it (note: I find this to be more true for things like plays or speaker talks or small group gatherings than parties with strangers).
It was almost a little weird to transition into Christmas music and trees after that. I think maybe I have a Hanukkah superiority thing going now? Regardless, I’m grateful for a non-Christmas holiday outlet, because I honestly didn’t know I could feel that way before.
I think what I’m trying to say is that I probably need to rewatch the episode of Sex and the City where Charlotte decorates one last Christmas tree before marrying Harry.
Here’s to whatever holidays we love.
Two Poems
I’ve always had a little idea of writing a book of morning poems. What are morning poems you ask? Morning poems are both about the morning and meant to be read in the morning, bite-sized enough that you can read a couple as part of your routine before moving on to showering or getting ready for work. I’ve always found poetry’s length to be ideal for brief morning readings; but most poetry subject matters, and density, you just are not equipped to handle that early. So, a collection of poems curated to ease you into your day.
Here are two poems I wrote a while ago for my fantasy collection of morning poems:
View from the Fourth Floor
There’s a fuzzy silence in the morning
of the little blue fan on the window.
It whispers and makes my plant leaf
tremble.
The plant is from Trader Joe’s
for six-ninety-nine.
We’ve all bought a Trader Joe’s plant
to make ourselves
feel better,
to add interest to
our shopping cart.
Now it lives on my windowsill,
all flat wide leaves tinged
with red and green and gold
adding just a little more life
to the view of buildings beyond.
It watches me cook
and sleep and cry
and keep him alive with water
and push him into the sunlight
and wish, instead of a plant,
I had a jungle,
or a woodland,
or maybe just a good green lawn.
A place to drink coffee outside,
My God-given right,
I think.
We imagine it together:
sunlight warming our heads,
soil under our feet,
the sounds of things waking up.
Text Conversations with Mother
7:32 a.m. and I text my mother.
“Do you like this painting?”
Two figures, far away on a crest
of warm oil paint that looks like sand.
Reminds me of their trip to Florida last winter.
I always know she’ll text me back,
probably with the small sun or
the face wearing glasses,
never one to send a text without an emoji.
“Getting more coffee,” she says,
with the face doing jazz hands.
So I help myself to more too.
A habit learned from her.
I picture us both at a distance,
stirring more cream into our coffee,
picking up our phones to see
if the other’s responded.
They go to Florida more
now that they’re retired,
to do things like walk and bike
along the beach.
I wish
I could be there.
How lucky
to become so benign,
two figures
walking on shoreline,
drifting like the sand.
“Got to show you my new Ikea finds,”
she texts, coffee-buzzed
like me, and I hope she feels
how special,
how happy.
Make Friends with the Green Smoothie Again
I have a “soft goal” for myself during this Whole30 (my hard goal is…to do the Whole 30 lol), which is to make a reliable and daily habit that consistently gets those vegetables in. Enter: the green smoothie.
I’ve had an epiphany about the green smoothie, which is that it needs to be delicious so you might in fact drink it every day. I am what we’ll call a leafy greens overachiever, cramming more kale than is wise into the blender to get as much as possible into my body. And then it just tastes like something I don’t want to finish.
I have seen the light, and the gods above have blessed me with several green smoothie insights which I will share now. I’ve written out tips to try in your own green smoothie, followed by my exact recipe if you’d prefer to just start there.
I’m very happy with the results, because it consistently works vegetables (not to mention fiber, vitamins, and antioxidants from the fruit, we love those) into your diet. Whatever else you go on to eat throughout the day, you’re insured.
Tip #1: Coconut water
Not almond milk. Not water. Not orange juice. But coconut water. Using this as your liquid is the *optimal* amount of sweetness, and it's not as sugared up as juice at only 9 grams of sugar a serving (while you can feel free to never count a calorie again in your life, it is wise to know how much sugar you’re putting into your body).
I buy one of those big coconut water guys at the store and it lasts me about three smoothies.
Tip #2: A squeeze of lemon
You guys. Seriously. Please. If you take nothing else from this guide, please…put a squeeze of lemon into your smoothie. It takes what’s usually just sort of sweet-tasting and it makes it…complex? Sophisticated? Refined? This has transformed my smoothies and made them much more to my taste. I would start with the juice of a quarter of a lemon and go from there (and if you don’t have one of these, what are you doing with your life?)
Tip #3: Swap kale for collard greens
Do you know the number one predictor of a healthy gut, based on the American Gut Project’s findings? The number of different plant species you consume. So, if you struggle to switch up your vegetables, a collard green smoothie swap is an easy fix. Collard greens not only check off the “dark, leafy greens” category, but also the “cruciferous” category. We love to see it.
Tip #4: So you don’t want to drink a cold smoothie in the morning
If you’re not dying to chug a cold smoothie every winter morning…me neither. I think if you’re really not vibing with putting something in your body don’t do it. Regardless, I think it’s important to warm up your body before a smoothie. Eating something hot (eggies, warm tea, breakfast potatoes) is a nice way to ease into it; my smoothie is usually my second breakfast. Alternatively, after exercising is the time I crave a smoothie most because my body is super warm + wants to be hydrated. This isn’t something I really hear talked about when we talk about diet and nutrition, but it’s a concept in ayurvedic medicine.
Sarah’s Green Smoothie
2 medium-sized collard green leaves (stems removed)
6-7 chunks frozen mango
4-5 frozen peach slices
1 fresh clementine
1 tbsp ground flax seeds*
1 tbsp hemp seeds*
Juice of ¼-½ lemon
A lot of coconut water
Blend the sh** out of it.
*These are the money makers!! Dry add-ins like this are the perfect thing to bulk up on in your smoothie because they’re virtually tasteless. I like the hemp seeds because they’re a source of fat, helping you digest all the nutrients in your smoothie. Other options: chia seeds, collagen protein powder, maybe a fancy mushroom mix.